The Compleat Joss Whedon
This weekend was, at once, the weekend of the Web Ecology Project’s quarterly research conference, a Window 7 Launch Party, my 23rd birthday, and a screening of von Trier’s incredibly intense (and incredibly great) new film, “Antichrist.” Needless to say, it was crazy, awesome, exhausting, and full of metric shit-tons of enthusing things.
Saturday night, in the haze of all the excitement, a pun came to me when I was about to go to sleep.
It went like this –
“Sad to hear you got laid off man, what are you doing nowadays?”
“Not much, been sitting at home, mostly JOSS READIN”
Hilarious. And perfect for a serious bout of image macro shooping (see above).
It turns out that the pun is surprisingly extensible. I spent the rest of the weekend lovingly crafting more that I’ve aggregated in this post. I’m leaving them here to serve as a testament to the human condition, as a repository, and to solicit you, my way-cleverer readers, to comment and fill in any others that I’ve missed.
So, without further ado, the Compleat Joss Whedon, organized alphabetically, after the jump.
“Man, you just fell down the stairs, are you alright?”
“Yeah, it’s cool dude, I’m JOSS BLEEDIN”
“How are you doing in your arranged marriage, man?”
“It’s terrible. There’s a huge lack of feelings there, it’s like we’re JOSS BREEDIN”
“Nice! Monopoly! I love this game. How are you doing?”
“It’s early in the game, at this point, we’re JOSS DEEDIN”
“You’re looking pretty lame in those pocket protectors and tweed jackets”
“It’s my Halloween costume, man! I’m JOSS DWEEBIN”
“That X was great! Are you coming off your high?”
“Yeah, at this point, it’s pretty much JOSS FLEEDIN”
“Thinking about training to be a baker”
“It’s easy, JOSS KNEADIN”
“You should stay for a drink, man, haven’t seen you in awhile”
“It’s okay, we’re JOSS LEAHVIN”
“Ooh boy, is it a date?”
“Come on! We’re JOSS MEADIN”
“It’s spring, Farmer Brown, whatchu been up to?”
“I’m JOSS SEEDIN”
“That’s a nice bead necklace! Did you make it?”
“I’m JOSS BEADIN”
“Captain, where do we go now?”
“Dont’ ask me! I’m JOSS LEADIN!”
“Wow, a murder charge! Are you in the late stages of trial proceedings?”
“Naw, man, I’m JOSS PLEADIN’”
“Wait, I’m forgetting my Bible history. Adam and Eve lived in… Edenopolis?”
“No, dude, it was JOSS EDEN.”
“Wow, everyone on BitTorrent LOVES you- what have you been doing for them?”
“JOSS SEEDIN!”
“Why did you kill my entire guild of level 10s? You’re level 80!”
“I’m JOSS GRIEFING!”
“Did you plant any new flowers in your garden today?”
“Naw, I’ve been JOSS WEEDIN”
“Wash, how are you gonna get to Persephone without nav?”
“I’ll stick to my JOSS HEADIN”
“How are you gonna get the computational performance you’ll need?”
“I’m JOSS MULTI-THREADIN”
“Do you really want me to take you higher?”
“No man I was JOSS CREEDIN”
“Woah. It looks like somebody got tenure.”
“No man. I’m JOSS TWEEDIN”
“You’re pretty far off second base, man. Are you planning to steal third?”
“Nah, I’m JOSS LEADIN.”
“Vampires are totally dick for sucking peoples blood.”
“Nah man, they’re JOSS FEEDIN.”
“Wow, those new office buildings of yours are incredibly energy efficient.”
“Yeah, they’re JOSS LEEDIN.”
“How come you’re paying so much attention to what I’m saying?”
“I’m JOSS HEEDIN.”